Saturday, June 30, 2012

Creative block is a bitch.

So, I was gonna 'cheat' again and use the schedule time off to preserve my streak, but I think I'll actually write something. Just... well because I haven't in a while. All the inspiration and drive I'd had from originally starting this up seems to have faded and it's getting harder and harder to write things of late. It's kinda like the inspiration has wandered off and I have to go and find it again. I don't think I'd be able to be a full time writer because my imagination is getting to be some hardcore suck. Maybe it's because I don't read/write/exercise my brain enough but... my ideas all seem to be very "samey" and not very original - even though I know it's hard to be truly original in fiction - or even cliche in places.
Which - possibly isn't a bad thing - but gets frustrating when I have all these ideas and they either peter out before I can get them down onto some kind of medium, or they just don't work as well as I thought they should when they sit in my head and bubble there - calling for my attention.
Maybe it's just cause I'm tired a lot of late or don't really get enough sleep? Makes for slower brain and sluggish thinking? What would be the cure for that? Drink more tea? (Gonna get so many responses to that! =P ) Read more? Watch more TV that isn't the same stuff I watch over and again? Listen to more varied music? Get one of those dictatphone things to record my thoughts? Or... use my phone to do the same? I could try writing challenges - but... whatever comes out always seems to be the same - or at least very similar and all revolving around the same characters. I seem to struggle with characters a lot and once I have one - I seem to latch on to them and only really write for them. I struggle writing new characters - and when I do they... I dunno - just seem to be so similar to OTHER characters I write. I struggle writing bad guys as well - which doesn't really pan out for writing stories with an antagonists because sometimes anti-heroes or that redeemable misunderstood 'bad guys' just don't cut it and you need someone properly evil.
Misery in Middale is probably the first story with original characters I've written in years - and while they all have fairly distinct (if cliched) personalities - they still seem a bit wooden to me at times? (Anyone who's read any of it would need to give me feedback as to whether that is the case or not to be honest.) The stuff I've been writing with Space Wolf has been a mix of writing my own characters and writing other peoples characters, which has been fairly interesting, the story with Aylix that I've been writing with Jenni was a pretty good collab with a strong pair of main characters - with a pretty good cast of bad guys we wrote between us (and I guess we'll see how that fairs when I come to edit it.)
I keep looking to the Xeonphotrix triology and trying to work over in my head the characters for that. And hell - the story as well - as the story is something I KEEP struggling with because it's so hard to get the characters from A to B to C. It's absolutely huge with regards to world and setting and the story I WANT to tell - I can come in about part way through and tell the latter half, but the establishing piece - which I'm normally realy good with - I'm just thinking about and dispairing - in no small amount. Maybe I should start with a later part? Or maybe just re-work the entire story to fit the setting better? It's something I keep needing to write down properly just to mull over, but I struggle getting it down in any kind of coherent format.
Add to that the other stuff I need to write - including plot for FnH (in which I've been a massive friggin' letdown of late, especially for Phil - in which I'd like to publically apologise here =[ ) where I'm just struggling to get any sort of inspiration at all for stories. I struggle with ref'ing a lot - because I find I struggle with actually getting the ideas and story that I'm trying to convey through the misson actually out there int the way I want them to... which I always just think is down to me not briefing my monster well enough because it's either too complex or.... just don't work in live action roleplay. =/ Or... something.

Bleh. That's my 750. Hi to my blog readers - sorry I've been so quiet of late. Not much to share at the moment.

Screw it - maybe I should just write bad erotica and flog it as the next 50 Shades or Twilight bestseller bullshit. >.>

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