Sunday, May 27, 2012

When did our time get so short...?

Struggling to write a bit today - my writing seems to have dropped off a lot lately and I'm not sure quite why. It probably doesn't help me finding all of Bleach that can be watched Youtube stylee-online. It is giving me a few good ideas, but not something I can really use anywhere at the moment. Misery has stalled fairly hard, which I'm going to attribute to not writing it for over a week at the beginning of the month. I seem to have been fairly run down since Springfest for some reason and I'm not entirely sure why. I was fairly ill for the few days afterwards but I've been... I dunno - mind blanking a lot for the past couple of weeks. Which has been frustrating especially when I've not been larping for most of this month, except Saturday just gone when I ran at Black Country with mine and Phil's new plot.
I wrote the awesome thing at the begining of the week this week which took a lot out of me, which knocked me down for a couple of days. I just haven't been able to get up and going again with it.
Part of it - I think - is just a bit of a character crisis. I'm getting fairly jaded with my own characters and it's other charcters that I'm really enjoying writing about (quite largely inspired by some AWESOME stuff a fellow writer has been sending me over the last couple of weeks.) However they seem to have a much better grasp of the other characters than I do and no matter how much I hate myself for it, I always seem to have to fight myself really hard to stop myself making it out to be very special fucking snowflake (aka Mary Sue/Marty Stew or whatever you want to call that particular literary abomination.)
Quite often the character themselves would real me in if I try that and Lahsaa is especially very good at stopping me doing stupid stuff that makes him out to be a lot cooler than he ever could be (fantasy sorcerer powers aside.)
I need to push the boat out on my writing a bit, try and write things I'm not used to writing maybe? Scenarios I'm not used to writing? I might put Misery in Middale on hold for a while, at least until I feel I can come back to it. Or maybe, just edit it. Problem is once I've done the 750 words for the day, I really don't feel like doing more writing or doing editing. 750 words feels like a very doable, sustainable about day in and day out, the 3100 words I did for the End of a Saga wrecked me mentally as I said earlier
Though... it is a muscle just like any other... maybe it just needs exercising more. It's gotten used to the 750 words a day and has gotten a bit used to writing that - so I need to start pushing the boat out a bit. See if I can work up to the NaNo-esque heights of 1667 words a day. And then push it further still. I'd love to be able to crack out 2000-2500 words a day with no really effort (but wouldn't every writer?) I know I need to be reading more (I have ASoFaI, and the Mistborn Trilogy to read as well as a bunch of other stuff on my she;f. Reading just hasn't been up there recently.

I wonder if I need to let my streak lapse and start again. I've felt like a bit of a cheat lately on 750 words - using my Patron status and the "Time off" feature a little too much maybe. I don't really want to lose a 76 day streak though. Even if around 10 of those days I've probably time-off'd.
But is that in the spirit of the whole writing thing though?
I envy these people who can juggle plot lines and juggle reading multple books at once. Especially with how SHORT my days are seeming lately. Work, maybe gym, home, eat, catch up on the world for the day, write and then bed. With the list of things I have to do seemingly getting longer (Warhammer army, bits for larp, writing for larp, story writing, reading, bits of art I want to do, projects like the Phyrehawk Reads Twilight I started, catching up on blogs and internet stuff I do, larping, socialising, gaming, tidying up, housework etc.) how does anyone try and fit all of that into their day? Or even their week half the time? I miss being young and having days stretch away endlessly - feeling like there is all the time in the world. That just seems to have gone completely.

Ah well... that's a catch up - I wrote, I unloaded a bit. Time to blog it and finish watching Bleach for the evening before going to bed and starting everything bright and early again tomorrow.


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