So todays words are also likely to be filler just because it's 20 to one in the morning and this is possibly the only time I'm going to have to actually write anything today. Today in Einherday - a larp event 4 months ish in the making where the Einherjar go and do an awesome bit of personal plot with little to no physical reward expected... We ARE expecting it to be hard. Very hard. Do it or actually all die hard. We expect to be pushed to the very edge of what our characters can endure, and maybe a bit beyond that.
Personally, I'm all kinds of bricking it. I feel like the weak link in the chain, feel like the one who could possibly let the side down cause I'm not the fighter, I'm the mage, and because it's an extra long mission I have to be really careful about where my power goes and who gets it cast on them... and I think it'll be one of these longer missions where the weakness of mages is going to shine through a bit. All three of the casters are going to be a bit enchant-centric because we're fairly sure that's what we'll need. Personally I'd much prefer to take out all my power in offensive spells and blow the shit out of everything we come across... but I can't really do that. I have to make every bit of power count - and it'll be a much bigger test to see if I can pull that off.
I was talking with Chris T - current SR for Knights and Religion - about various things earlier and he got me thinking about one thing that's obviously important to my character in FnH and that's magic. There seems to be a lot of emphasis on how magic works in system and a lot of mages kind of come at that from a very... almost scientific name for things using equations and formulae for it where as I like to think of things from a "DnD Sorcerer" point of view, magic should be (IMO) very emotive and very reactive to how the character is feeling. Maybe it's just the way I view magic in FnH but I see as it as very intrinsically linked to the characters soul. The souls of the characters in FnH (again, IMO) are made of soulfire (hence the name) which to me/Lasaa makes a lot of sense. It's that that is connected to the Tower of Magic, it's that that is awaken to use the soulfire that it is made from and use it as a conduit for all manner of magical experimentation. That's the manner of it I like to come at it from, and while part of me wonders whether it's too late to actually add these bits to the character, I think they're things I'm going to try and push for... maybe not as Lahsaa but a character further down the line. A emotionalist - as it were - who casts spells by force of will and energy rather than by understanding what soulfire is.
One thing I try and do (to varying degrees of success) is roleplay the draining effect that using all that power he's given every day has on his body. He relies on this soulfire for power now, feeds off of it, and uses it to power himself - when he's used the power and he's out, it's going to be draining, it's going to make him tired and ache. I have played it a couple of times where casting out as actually just made him pass out, or collapse just becayse of the mental and physical exertion of unleashing all this power - especially for the higher active spells... the main thing I (and Lahsaa especially) gets frustrated at is the limits of soulfire - the limits that he's provided from the Tower and he's been thinking for a while now of getting more power - accessing more of that soulfire as he uses the spells more and more - almost as if the soul was a muscle that could be exercised.
Problem is - not many ways exist to do that in FnH that don't involve making deals with fae, demons, undead or Axir. And those things are never good to do. More than once Lahsaa has been massively frustrated at the fact that "If I had enough power for this one last spell I could have... x." where X could be anything from save this person from dying, stopped this bad guy getting away or stopped this bad guy wrecking carnage and bloodshed all over his friends. I understand that a lot of it is just down tot he mechanics - but it's frustrating when the mechanics stand in the way of furthering roleplay. It's one of the frustrating things about FnH where in character "excuses" as it were that don't entirely make sense have to be concocted to handle out of character mechanics.
Einherday. Going to kick ass. Can't fucking wait. Somehow I've knocked out 900 words - so I'ma leave it there.
Like I said - hopefully new Misery in Middale bit Sunday. Comments welcome on my ramble... even if it's just the (inevitable) moaning at that I'm wrong.